It's twisted and curled!!

Cornered in my room at night,

It’s the twinkles I stalk…

Reminding me of promises,

I have to live up…

I made them to myself,

To fight the world…

‘Cause for all you’d ever know,

It’s twisted and curled!!

(Time alone sometimes is all that is needed to understand what you really want out of life, and what you’re really doing for it.)

Darkest of all, coldest of cold

This day of life, I hate the most.

My eyes are red, my heart blue

‘Cause I strongly detest what you have to do.

No bad wound, and no love lost

The pain gifted is the worst of worst.

The crest is where I’m losing hope

‘Cause I can’t see a world of scope.

Had I been you, I’d never do this

It’s not the gift, but the reason I quest.

If you think I’m falling, then to your thoughts…

Yes I am…not forever, but to stand!

If you see me breaking, then to your sight…

Yes I am…not forever, I shall soon pick up the pieces!

If you still care, then to your love

Yes I’m crying, a part of me’ dying …

Not forever, cause I have your hand!

They say life’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it…

And to the saying… I can’t even love to hate you.

‘Cause deep inside I know you’re there

For the times I fright, the worst nightmares!!

Cornered in my room at night,

It’s the twinkles I stalk…

Reminding me of promises,

I have to live up…

I made them to myself,

To fight the world…

‘Cause for all you’d ever know,

It’s twisted and curled!!

<< These are the confessions of a lost hope to the one who sees it all, hears it all, and plays it all àThe Creator, GOD!!>>

What you did remains a secret in the deepest corners of my heart!!

P.S Yes, time alone sometimes is needed to understand what you actually want from life. But not for what you’re doing for it…cause you don’t do anything, all of it just happens!

P.P.S Hating you (god) is impossible, so out of no choice left… I still love you!!

A girl must shop !!

“Wednesday, 25^th of January I’ll be done with my blog entry”, I said to a friend. She replies “Sunakshi you won’t be posting it before the last minute, till the time you can delay it.” And she was right. I am here writing this in the last hour. I don’t know why I thought till this hour that I could do away without writing this. Finally, left with no choice I switched on my laptop to write this blog but I realised there is something I haven’t done in the day. Something which is much closer or dearer to my heart than this. I have NOT shopped or to compensate for that, visited a shopping website in the day.

I knew, to concentrate on blog writing I had to get done with my tour to the shopping websites or else that’s all that I would have in my mind. And now when i have come back to this word document after half an hour I finally know what I am going to write. The girls might stay hooked to this blog now and the guys might have a “Oh! Not again” expression on their faces, specially my guy friends. But guys, the “I like what you are wearing” compliment you pass on to a girl is because she puts out her heart and soul shopping for that. A guy/man standing patiently with a girl/lady shopping with him is someone who knows it correctly and accurately what is going to make her smile.

A mall and a wallet with a credit card is all that I need to live my life, to fight away the tensions and to smile conditionally. I don’t remember when was the last time I went to a mall with my dad. Not because I don’t like going to malls. Not because our timings clash. But just because he finds it safe not to go with me. One simple reason SHOPPING ! And the second one, that it’s tough for a Daddy’s daughter to accept a no. Girls like it and they want it. No ifs, no buts. No two ways about it. I think we girls are one breed who can spend a day in a mall and at times return empty handed. Get up the next day and go to the same mall, same shops and have our wallets empty. It’s not that we are stupid or blind. It’s just that we can put in any amount of hard work and dedication in this or at times act like a professional in this. It’s an art all by itself [:P].

Many around me haven’t learnt this art and I wonder how do they resist doing the same. I don’t know how many of you have actually done this. But yes, I do enter baby stores and think if I would have been smart and sensible enough to shop for myself when I was a baby what would have I picked up.

The ladies shopping for hours and hours in the malls and markets are not jobless. It is just another important aspect of their life. It's a dose which boosts them for everything else. It is not about being weird or crazy. It is about loving to pamper yourself and for me, to feel my existence.

Rise up!

I went to see the Republic Day Parade today... Since I have started my entry like this, you all may expect that I will talk about this day. But I won’t because there is something else that I have learnt on this occasion and I would like to share it with you all. By the way, I had an amazing experience this morning but another reason why I won't talk about the parade after this paragraph is because I thought that too much of Sukhoi and An-32 and Dorniers won’t be good for me. (That's another story, will tell you in person :D)

As some of my friends know, for a while now my body is not that strong and is falling prey to something or the other. And, this time it has cost me theatre, another secret project ;), college and Anugoonj... our University Fest where I cannot participate in anything because of a stupid injury. Believe me when I say I love participating in stuff, but now, I can just roam around like a zombie for a few more weeks because any kind of strenuous activity can have uglier consequences. Even now while I am typing, I have a hot water bottle stuck behind my back.

Me with my too hot to handle hot water bottle.

The reason why I am whining about my health issues is that I want you guys to know that I was pretty demoralized after spending so many days at home without doing anything and when my every effort to do something productive was thwarted and I found myself again in bed recovering.

But today while I was sitting happily in the VIP section (I had to mention it somehow!) and watching defence regiments march past, I thought to myself, “ Look at these guys, they are going slowly but so gracefully, every soldier is taking care of not leaving the other behind so that they are beautifully moving forward in a synchronized way, even the ex-servicemen in their marching contingent with their old age and the ailments that it brings with it are not rushing into anything and are taking one graceful step at a time.”

That’s when I realised, “Tanvi, rise up! It’s not the end of the world! (I am sure it is not, till 21^st December at least.) Why do you have to rush into things? It is only wise to take rest now to be productive later. Take one graceful step at a time. Also, just like a marching contingent, your body is made up of parts that need to be in sync with other body parts to make your body move forward.”

Well, I am pretty upbeat after realising this and suddenly I am feeling less sick too! Guess, I needed a little bit of psychotherapy and not physiotherapy. Hahaha :P And I would like to say this to all of you my dear friends, slow and steady wins the race, a few failures do not mean the end of the world and have patience in life. This epiphany is making me see things clearly, hope it will help you all too. CHEERS TO LIFE!!

Does Democracy deserve such politicians?

I became independent 64 years before but who said I feel independent. Democracy is beautiful in this country as the country is rich in its culture. This democracy is for, by and of the people but lately it has lost its essence.

I write this blog to tell them

That I know

I earn the money

But it goes into your hands 

And u call it TAX

It’s just 'Theft made legal'

India is a country of more than a billion. It has a rich cultural heritage. Owing to the selfishness of the rulers in past, it allowed foreigners not only to invade but also to establish their rule here. After suffering great losses and humiliation, fortunately it got some enlightened political leadership; and became independent. 

But Independence came to the coutry at a very heavy cost. The foreign rulers of the past had ensured that the people of India remained divided. They had used the institutions of religion and caste very effectively to divide and rule. Though many great leaders worked hard to bring the people of India together, they were outnumbered by the so called leaders who were willing to play second fiddle to the foreigners and bring down the political standard of India by sowing seeds of dissension among the people.

Unfortunately for India, the post-independence leaders, with rare exceptions, did not emulate the great patriots who led the independence struggle; but have only chosen to follow the corrupt, who were not for uniting the Indians and making the nation strong. Such pernicious elements are growing in number and have already lowered the political standard of India.

The fundamental advantage of democracy is freedom of expression and meaningful, logical discussion in public forums. Such discussions should take place with the sole aim of arriving at the best decisions and ensuring justice and public welfare; there is no room for animosity or suppression of arguments of others. Ideas can be expressed powerfully but without losing patience and mutual respect. The leaders of past generations have demonstrated on a number of occasions such national spirit and individual dignity.

Even though more than six decades have passed since India became independent, evidently the political standard has been watered down. The present day leaders, excepting Dr. Abdul Kalam and a few others, hardly speak or do anything to improve the standard of political behaviour in India. The entry of people with criminal records into political system, and very ineffective legal framework against tort, and despicably bad enforcement of the laws have made it possible to convert the political institutions into the business houses of selfish politicians; who do not know, do not care to know the importance of duty, discipline and decorum in political activities.

Today I got up to see the Republic Day parade and thought do the politicians deserve this beautiful democracy. I wondered

                   Who would want to stay in this new world that rots?

Please answer me... tell me what we can do to restore this democracy as an individual?

It had a knot!

After a complete week of Steve Jobs craze that finally resulted in me being able to complete the biography, I proclaimed that this is the first thing in 7 years that has been able to keep me hooked to it after Harry Potter. The life that this ‘arrogant’ man lived who knew just one thing really well- how to talk- is sure to be a big inspiration for me. But right now, I concentrate on this new blog entry at a new blog- the third blog I am writing for after my personal blog and the Creative Call blog. And my theme of writing is, for now, not related to Jobs at all.

It’s the 26^th day of January today and it has been 62 years since 1950- A big and significant day for the Republic of India. Don’t worry; I am not going to write down the history of this, starting right from the 1930 Purna Swaraj resolution. If you are an Indian and reading this, then you are surely aware of the complete thing. If not, shame on you! Google it right now!

Till this morning, I had no idea what I was going to make this entry on. It was perhaps going to be something related to trains. But an event this morning compelled me to write about today’s day.

Last night my aunt got me to write an introductory speech, for the Republic Day Celebration in our colony, that she was to deliver. The speech didn’t take me long to write- 5 minutes and it was done. How? Simple reason for that. I am used to writing these kind of speeches and have done so at least 6 times for the Republic Days and Independence Days from 2005-2007. I opened my laptop and showed her one of the videos that I had saved from the Independence Day of 2006. I was in class 8 then. We, a small group of friends aged 8-14, had formed a children’s club in our colony and we used to hoist the national flag early in the morning (6 AM to be precise) on these two days on the terrace of our building. We used to be in our white school uniforms and prepare for the day, at least a week in advance. Cultural programs and distribution of sweets (we didn’t like the traditional ladoos, so we got gulab-jamuns) had soon become an integral part of the event. We used to go to each of the houses before 6; ring the door-bells and get everyone up to be in attendance. [:D]

A video-grab from 15 August
2006, when the flag had a knot!

One of the most common features of those events was the unfurling of the flag (that’s obvious, isn’t it?) Well, what was amusing about this was the fact that when the rope was pulled, the flag rarely ever opened! It had a knot! That happened because of our usual lack of knowledge on how to tie the knot so as to open it in one pull. I remember once using a long stick and once (the video that I showed to my aunt last night) climbing up the pole to open the flag! Hahaha…

And then we used to proceed to school for the flag hoisting and cultural programmes of the day.

I moved to Delhi in 2008 and what I saw here was something completely unexpected and very unusual for me. My friends at Delhi would perhaps be surprised by me terming this unusual and might even disagree- 15^th of August and 26^th of January were two days of ‘eat-drink-sleep’. That’s it! National holiday! Schools closed! Flag-hoisting on 14^th August and 25^th January due to security concerns. What the hell was going on?

I got used to this less-patriotic feel soon (Yes, that’s how I termed it when I first encountered the situation in 2008). For the first two years I felt weird, not witnessing a flag-hoisting on the D-days. I did attend the Republic Day parade of 2009 at Rajpath and that was not a great experience for sure. (That’s a completely different story which I wouldn’t like to include here- it would deviate from what I am talking about) But now, after 4 years, even I have got used to this. It’s just another holiday for me now. I was surprised and amazed at the fact that till last night I didn’t receive even a single text message from anyone with the nationalist feeling. (Should I blame it to TRAI’s SMS limitation?[:D])

I am watching the climax scene of Border, one of my all-time favourite movies. And I should put my pen down now or I wouldn’t have readers for this really-long-boring blog entry! But before I conclude, perhaps you would like to know what event this morning ‘compelled’ me to write this entry. Here it goes- I attended the flag-hoisting ceremony in my colony this morning and the when the rope was pulled, the flag didn’t open. It had a knot!

Wish you a very Happy 63^rd Republic Day. Jai Hind!