It's twisted and curled!!

Cornered in my room at night,

It’s the twinkles I stalk…

Reminding me of promises,

I have to live up…

I made them to myself,

To fight the world…

‘Cause for all you’d ever know,

It’s twisted and curled!!

(Time alone sometimes is all that is needed to understand what you really want out of life, and what you’re really doing for it.)

Darkest of all, coldest of cold

This day of life, I hate the most.

My eyes are red, my heart blue

‘Cause I strongly detest what you have to do.

No bad wound, and no love lost

The pain gifted is the worst of worst.

The crest is where I’m losing hope

‘Cause I can’t see a world of scope.

Had I been you, I’d never do this

It’s not the gift, but the reason I quest.

If you think I’m falling, then to your thoughts…

Yes I am…not forever, but to stand!

If you see me breaking, then to your sight…

Yes I am…not forever, I shall soon pick up the pieces!

If you still care, then to your love

Yes I’m crying, a part of me’ dying …

Not forever, cause I have your hand!

They say life’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it…

And to the saying… I can’t even love to hate you.

‘Cause deep inside I know you’re there

For the times I fright, the worst nightmares!!

Cornered in my room at night,

It’s the twinkles I stalk…

Reminding me of promises,

I have to live up…

I made them to myself,

To fight the world…

‘Cause for all you’d ever know,

It’s twisted and curled!!

<< These are the confessions of a lost hope to the one who sees it all, hears it all, and plays it all àThe Creator, GOD!!>>

What you did remains a secret in the deepest corners of my heart!!

P.S Yes, time alone sometimes is needed to understand what you actually want from life. But not for what you’re doing for it…cause you don’t do anything, all of it just happens!

P.P.S Hating you (god) is impossible, so out of no choice left… I still love you!!

Rise up!

I went to see the Republic Day Parade today... Since I have started my entry like this, you all may expect that I will talk about this day. But I won’t because there is something else that I have learnt on this occasion and I would like to share it with you all. By the way, I had an amazing experience this morning but another reason why I won't talk about the parade after this paragraph is because I thought that too much of Sukhoi and An-32 and Dorniers won’t be good for me. (That's another story, will tell you in person :D)

As some of my friends know, for a while now my body is not that strong and is falling prey to something or the other. And, this time it has cost me theatre, another secret project ;), college and Anugoonj... our University Fest where I cannot participate in anything because of a stupid injury. Believe me when I say I love participating in stuff, but now, I can just roam around like a zombie for a few more weeks because any kind of strenuous activity can have uglier consequences. Even now while I am typing, I have a hot water bottle stuck behind my back.

Me with my too hot to handle hot water bottle.

The reason why I am whining about my health issues is that I want you guys to know that I was pretty demoralized after spending so many days at home without doing anything and when my every effort to do something productive was thwarted and I found myself again in bed recovering.

But today while I was sitting happily in the VIP section (I had to mention it somehow!) and watching defence regiments march past, I thought to myself, “ Look at these guys, they are going slowly but so gracefully, every soldier is taking care of not leaving the other behind so that they are beautifully moving forward in a synchronized way, even the ex-servicemen in their marching contingent with their old age and the ailments that it brings with it are not rushing into anything and are taking one graceful step at a time.”

That’s when I realised, “Tanvi, rise up! It’s not the end of the world! (I am sure it is not, till 21^st December at least.) Why do you have to rush into things? It is only wise to take rest now to be productive later. Take one graceful step at a time. Also, just like a marching contingent, your body is made up of parts that need to be in sync with other body parts to make your body move forward.”

Well, I am pretty upbeat after realising this and suddenly I am feeling less sick too! Guess, I needed a little bit of psychotherapy and not physiotherapy. Hahaha :P And I would like to say this to all of you my dear friends, slow and steady wins the race, a few failures do not mean the end of the world and have patience in life. This epiphany is making me see things clearly, hope it will help you all too. CHEERS TO LIFE!!